December 30th 2009 - Cleeve Hill…errr…….South Herefordshire
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After delivering the bad news that Cleeve Hill was closed for the day and that the annual Christmas fixture was off, the Chairman settled down in his chair with a full English breakfast and the cricket on the telly.
Meanwhile 11 stupid fools were making their way down the M50 to the South Herefordshire Golf Club, determined not to let a bit of snow and rain spoil their day.‘It’s a bit wet and we’re on temporary greens’ said the man in the pro shop ‘but you’re welcome to play for a tenner each’….. we all thought it was a bargain except for Les ‘tight arse’ Stallard who said we should only pay a fiver.
After a quick committee meeting, it was agreed and concurred by the captain, that there were enough members present for it to qualify as a full society event. In fact the captain was very keen as it is likely to be the only event he will attend this season, he even asked if we could call it captain’s day!
As we stood on the first tee in the freezing rain we started to question our sanity, but then Phil ‘bag lady’ Wilson came around the corner and lightened the mood. Dressed to impress in charity shop jumper, old woolly hat, anorak and 30 year old walking boots, he proceeded to rummage through the bins looking for discarded tees, balls, food etc. So off we went up the first fairway into the driving rain, which didn’t stop for the entire round.
The course was like a lake, with bunkers full to the brim with water and ice whilst the normal greens were like ice rinks. The temporary greens were mainly cut on a slope so that the water drained off although it was hard to notice at times as it was raining so hard… pitching wedge rather than putter seemed to be the way forward.
We finally got back in the club house, soaked through and freezing and started to work out the scores from the pile of sodden cards. In an impressive third place, with a net 70, was the new captain, Matt Sailes….that’s the last we will see of him this season.
In second with a net 69 was the ever present John ‘pearl necklace’ Vincent (sponsored by Glen Eagles clothing). But it was the Bag Lady who stole the show with a magnificent net 65. With the aid of a glove borrowed from Keith and a small family of mice inside his coat he played superbly… well done Phil.
Must mention Simon ‘the catholic’ Haines who pulled out half way through because he was cccold……….